Friday, July 12, 2013

Life Changer Part 1: What was going on before

First an update:

Lately it's been a horrible ride with Lyme, bartonella, babesia, etc. I really don't have answers to why my body is crumbling. I just have to believe what the doc and other patients say about the get worse before you get better. The antibiotics are causing hair loss now but we're hoping that will clear up.  All these crazy symptoms keep me from going out or holding conversations with people most of the time. major bummer. 

When people ask me how I got sick I really don't know where to begin or if they really want to sit through an hour monologue of me trying to explain what happened. We aren't even exactly sure how I got to this state but we do know a lot. I'll try to break it down. 

What I was up to before my body was invaded: 

-Golfing with Dad
-Skiing adventures
-Getting to know all kinds of people
-Missions Trips (traveling. yikes! that word scares me now)
-Jumping off waterfalls on one of those trips
-Taking chill pills for trying to be the best
-Hanging out with friends
-Enjoying life 

Old school pic at Kristin's house

Just jotting these memories down brings a smile to my face. I remember the good times but I don't remember what it feels like to live a day without pain. I guess when you're healthy you don't think about how easy it is to get around and do pretty much anything you want. I'm learning I took so many things for driving a car, among other things.

Those times and that person were about to be stripped away. Our family would never be the same after summer 2006 missions trip to Honduras. More on that in Part 2 of the Life Change. 

The days are going by and I lay in bed feeling like my life is wasted. But it's not. Dad reminded Ken and I tonight that our faith in what God's doing is something we can do at all times. Lying in bed or running a marathon we can still have faith in God's plan. So like Job, I doubt and question but I know in my heart that there is something bigger, something outside of myself in all of this misery. I would highly recommend Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper...need to read it again. 

"Hope in God, oh my soul. He is strong, and He is strong to save. He's a mighty fortress"


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